National Youkai Service
by Justiman
Summary: What is this? Simple. In an alternate universe very close to ours, the Naruto characters, among others, serve in Japan's National Youkai Service, battling and managing the various supernatural entities that populate Japan, from magical girls to demons.


- - - - - - -

_Chiyoda Ward, Tokyo_

National Youkai Services Headquarters

1305 Tokyo Time

- - - - - -

Dr. Sakura Haruno leaned forward in her chair, eyes narrowed at the small sapling in the glass aquarium. She checked her instruments, double checked them, and looked back into the glass container.

A rapid, quiet clicking noise vibrated through the glass. Sakura scooted closer, adjusting her glasses. She held a microphone up to her lips.

"Test Day 340, Dr. Sakura Haruno reporting... Sapling has been showing sporadic acoustic vibrations, consistent with _kodama_ sounds. No visible manifestation yet... Ki treatments have gone well, sapling is now 89 centimeters in height and showing pronounced growth around it's..." She trailed off as a low buzzing sound reached her ears. She closed her eyes and pulled away from the glass, turning to glare at the source.

"Zzzz...." Her lab assistant, Konohamaru Sarutobi, was fast asleep at his work station. She gritted her teeth, and took deep calming breaths.

"... Prounounced growth in it's upper bark layer, chemical results still pending analysis-"

"Zzzzzz... Mmmm..." Konohamaru actually smiled in his sleep, and drooled onto his keyboard. Sakura glared even more intently at him.

"Might have increased ki infusion, which with this particular-!"

"Zzzzz..."

"Konohamaru!" She growled. Konohamaru's grin grew... Dopier.

"Hnnn... Oh yeah Dr. Haruno... I'll give you samples... Lots of samples, alll over you, heheheheh..."

_TSEW! TSEW! TSEW!_ The high pitched scream of a plasma gun woke Konohamaru up instantly, and he fell out of his chair onto the floor.

"UWAH!"

Sakura rolled her eyes as he cursed and muttered, and finally got back up.

"Wh-What the hell was that?!" He shouted. Sakura held up her plasma rifle, the magitech runes on it's surface glowing ominously.

"Little misfire... Though I saw a fly," she said smoothly. Konohamaru gulped as she lowered the weapon and pointed it at his nose.

"But I'm sure I chased it off... Correct?" She asked flatly.

Before Konohamaru could stutter out an answer, sensors and alarms all over the lab began screaming.

Her scientific equipment was going haywire. A printer was clattering away like a monkey on speed with a typewriter, repeating the same five words over and over again, while the speakers on her computer followed suit:

**"Tobi is a Good Boy Tobi is a Good Boy Tobi is a Good Boy Tobi is a Good Boy Tobi is a Good Boy Tobi is a Good Boy...**

"What the hell is that?!" Sakura cried.

An alarm began to ring from Sakura's computer terminal. "Alert! Alert! Massive Dimensional Instability detected!"

"What's that? What is that?!" Moegi Akimichi, a passing lab tech, shouted as she ran into the area.

Sakura rushed over to her computer work station, and quickly looked over her screens, fingers typing rapidly over two keyboards.

"Trans-dimensional manifestation is in progress! Konohamaru! Give me a location!" Sakura shouted at her assistant.

He leapt into action on his own computer terminal, working with Sakura on establishing the target zone.

"I've got it! Grid 22! Elevation... It's going to appear right above this building!" Konohamaru called, pointing at the address on his screens.

"Who do we have down there right now?" Sakura called. Konohamaru checked his readouts.

"... Looks like... Naruto and Uchiha... But this thing... Communications aren't working!"

Sakura grumbled and looked at her screen pessimistically. "Then we'd better make sure they have backup... No telling what kind of trouble they could be in right now..."

**"Tobi is a Good Boy Tobi is a Good-"**

"And would somebody shut that off?!"

Moegi moved and turned off the speakers. Sakura nodded and sighed.

"Thank you..."

"I'm telling you Sasuke... You do not have any idea what you're talking about," Naruto stated flatly, slurping up a helping of ramen from his bowl. The two partners were sitting outside for lunch, relaxing in the middle of a boring, boring day.

"The best American movie series ever is _Star Wars._ No contest."

"Hn. While I will agree with you that George Lucas is a superb director, _Star Wars_ is amateur work compared to _2001: A Space Odyssey."_

"_2001_ is overrated. I mean, it's so long, and the ending is just tedious and lame," Naruto snorted. "_Star Wars_ is nicely paced from beginning to end! No wasted scenes!"

"Bah, it's just mindless violence and pretty special effects." Sasuke snorted. "_2001_ is a rare delight, in that you need to use your brain to fully appreciate it. But then, a dobe like you wouldn't understand that."

"Of course you need your brain to appreciate _Star Wars!_ It doesn't let your brain fall asleep," Naruto snorted back.

Sasuke just snorted, and sipped his tea.

"Gah, fucking cold," Naruto sniffled, wiping his nose. "I can't believe we both got it at the same time..."

"It could have been worse, just remember that. You've heard of those new human diseases that have been floating around lately."

"Why do you always say that? Human? I mean, you're human too," Naruto protested. "I'm half-human..."

"My point exactly." Sasuke said, sipping his tea.

"Yeah, but it's like... How you said it," Naruto said with a frown. "Like... I dunno... What's the word for regular people in Harry Potter?"

"If I remember correctly, the term is Muggle."

"Yeah. Muggle. You said it like, derisively or something," Naruto said.

"My speech mannerisms are none of your concern, Naruto."

"Yeah yeah, whatever," Naruto sniffed, leaning back on the bench and looking up at the sky. "So... You gonna come over for dinner this Friday?"

"Hinata's been asking me about it all month..."

"If I can get the time off work, I shall consider it."

"Consider it? That's what you said the last time," Naruto said.

"As I just said, there are many things that take up my time here at the Department..."

"You're still moping over her," Naruto said flatly.

"Hey! I thought we agreed never to bring her up again, after last time!"

"No no no, I promised to never bring her up again so long as it wasn't painfully obvious you were moping over her," Naruto replied with a smirk. "You're moping."

Sasuke sighed. "...All right, I guess I am; only slightly mind you! I don't want anyone to compare me with that broody idiot who happens to share my name."

"Oh, like I never get tired of being compared to the hyper idiot who shares my name," Naruto replied sarcastically.

"But that's beside the point. You're moping, sulking, and writing in your LiveJournal again."

"And what's wrong with that? A little self-reflection is good for the soul."

"'My heart is blackened, never to love again. I shed tears of blood from the pit in my soul,'" Naruto quoted with a disbelieving look on his face.

Sasuke had the decency to look embarrassed.

"Seriously man, you need to loosen up a little. Have fun. I mean, a couple of hours with me, Hinata, and the kits and you won't be able to be in a gloomy mood!"

Sasuke chuckled ruefully. "You're not going to stop until I agree, are you?"

Naruto just grinned. "I can pull out the baby pictures if you'd like?"

Sasuke sighed. "All right then. 7:30 sound good?"

"Sounds-!"

An orange and black blur flew by them on the street, scaring lots of civilians walking around.

"..."

"What in Kami-sama's name was that?" Sasuke blinked

Naruto's eyes narrowed. "Someone breaking the speed limit. Get the car and catch up." Naruto took off after the blur.

"On it," he called, heading to get their car.

Naruto used a brief burst of foxfire to get ahead of the blur, and held out an arm.

"GURK!" Shouted someone, as he was slammed down into the pavement.

"Okay kiddo, pull over, you're in way too much of a..." Naruto trailed off and stared at the face of the teenaged boy on the ground.

"Ite, ite, ite...." the boy groaned as he shook himself out of his daze.

Naruto pulled out his gun and pointed it at the kid's chest.

"Okay pal... Whatever or whoever you are, drop the illusion. Right now," Naruto stated flatly.

"What th-" the kid realised something was up, and with a puff of smoke, he was replaced with a bundle of newspapers

"Shit. Ninja," Naruto growled. He stretched out his youkai senses and used a quick foxfire jump to follow the boy.

"Nice trick. Simple but a classic," he stated to the boy, pointing his gun in his face. "Now freeze."

The boy kicked him back, and brought his hands up in a familiar sign "_KAGE BUNSHIN NO JUTSU!_" The world was filled with orange.

"Would you stop overreacting you stupid kid? I'm with NYS! Calm the fuck down!" Naruto shouted, pulling out his badge. Great, this kid knew the Shadow Clone jutsu. That was some seriously dedicated cosplaying. They sure as hell didn't feel like illusions.

"Hey! Who you calling a kid!" the kid shouted back. "Don't you know who I am?! I'm Naruto Uzumaki, the future Hokage of Konoha, and you'd better Believe it!"

"... Naruto Uzumaki... Future Hokage... Believe it...?" Naruto asked in disbelief. He shook his head and started laughing.

"Okay, okay... You got me. Sasuke! Sakura? You got me. Good one!"

The boy didn't sem to like that. "Oi! If this is your idea of a joke Kakashi-sensei, it's a bad one!" he said, as the wave of orange flooded forwards.

Naruto rolled his eyes, and quickly opened a foxfire portal in front of him and behind the kid. He fired a single shot, blasting the boy in the back and sending him to the ground, hard.

A sudden wave of red flashed over the boy, and a heavy, evil feeling fell on the street.

"Aw shit," Naruto mumbled. He hit his radio earpiece. "Sasuke, I need a containment bubble around this entire area, now." He summoned four of his tails, his own youkai challenging that of the boy's for dominance.

_"Roger that. It'll be up in about 30 seconds."_ Sasuke said, as the kid slowly rose to his feet.

"Okay, you've got a fair amount of power. I'm suitably impressed," Naruto stated calmly. "And I'd be even more impressed if you could put that power away, and stop this before anyone, namely you, gets hurt."

"No way, you cheap imitation!" the kid said, as he turned to face him. His blue eyes were now blood-red, and slitted. Like a Fox's.

"I don't want to fight a fellow kitsune kid... Don't do this," Naruto tried again.

Just then, they heard the sound of their unmarked car arriving, in a handbrake slide, all blues and twos flashing Sasuke leaped out, revolver in hand as he crouched behind the bonnet. "Feild'll be up in 10!" he called.

The field shimmered into life, and Naruto used the distraction provided to pull an old kitsune trick-Foxfire all the air away from around the kid's head.

The kid gasped for breath, which allowed Naruto to tackle him to the ground and get him into a submission hold, slapping youkai absorbing cuffs on the boy's wrists. Sasuke slowly came around the side of the unmarked car.

"Not bad, Naruto." Sasuke said. "Maybe there was some small wisdom in the higher-ups partnering us."

"Che... Small wisdom?" Naruto asked with a smirk. "How many times have we saved the world again?"

Sasuke rolled his eyes. "Come on, let's get the Tate Gallery reject here back to HQ."

"Yeah yeah..." He looked at the people now staring, and pulled on some sunglasses.

"You didn't see anything..." He nodded to Sasuke.

Sasuke pulled on his own sunglasses. "Just some street theatre that got a bit too real." he said, pulling out the gadget.

"Have a nice day," he said with a grin, just before the memory mod spell went off.

They loaded the kid into the back of the car and got in.

"So... What do you think? Cosplay gone wrong?" Naruto asked.

"Maybe. We'd better have Ino check him over when we get back, though. If anyone can find out the truth, it's her."

"She should have her own hotline... If we didn't have to memory wipe everyone who calls," Naruto said with a grin.

- - - - - - -

What is this? Simple. In an alternate universe very close to ours, the Naruto characters, among others, serve in Japan's National Youkai Service, battling and managing the various supernatural entities that populate Japan, from magical girls to demons. They employ half-youkai, mages, scientists, soldiers, miko, and cops. They keep the peace and keep most of the people from knowing things they shouldn't, though despite their efforts it is essentially an open secret to everyone what they do. It's hard not to notice the Sailor Senshi and other supernatural baddies out there-The memory wiping is mainly a formality at this point.

Into this crazy world comes the canon Naruto Uzumaki. Possibly through a botched jutsu by Madara, possibly by an accident on this end, who knows? All that is know is that he is most definitely _not_ in Kansas anymore.

The potential for crossovers is immense, ranging from _Ranma 1/2_ to _Sailor Moon_. So, ideas for cases for the NYS, for an overall story arc-And possible pairings are all welcome.


End file.
